Finding contentment

by Ram Posted on March 2, 2012

We all seek peace of mind and contentment in life. Right from the day we’re born till the day we die we are averse to unhappiness and discomfort. We never want to be in either of these two states for too long. It’s our natural tendency to seek contentment as much as we can as life then becomes enjoyable. When we’re babies our needs are relatively simple – the occasional milk, food, cleaning and attention. As we grow up more and more ideas enter our head as to things we’d like to do, have and experience. Our sense of happiness and contentment usually come to depend on things we don’t really need for survival but want nevertheless. That new gadget, a sexy partner, the high-earning job, or the platinum credit card, peer approval, to name just a few.

Some of us want these things and so much more. And especially those of us living in developed nations with a relatively high quality of life. Thanks to modern day technology we’re constantly aware of the numerous people around the world achieving amazing and impressive things and this makes many of us also want to achieve something big and meaningful too. We want to change society for the better in our own little way. We want to start our own business and make lots of money, partly to better provide for ourselves and our loved ones but also partly to feel that we too can “make it”. None of this is bad, of course. It’s just that our sense of happiness and contentment is tied up in our sense of self-worth which gets tied up in getting and achieving all of these things that we want. And for those of us who do feel this way, missed past opportunities have taught us not to waste a single moment right now. To the point where we might even feel guilty if we’re not actively working towards our goals in life. We feel frustrated and perhaps angry when things don’t work out the way they’re “supposed to”; and we’re constantly chasing success in order to obtain that sense of happiness and fulfilment we so desire. Achieving and becoming admired by others becomes, in our minds, a good measure of our “success” in life.

It’s pursuit of excellence, you say. A natural yearning to excel in life and feel fulfilled. Absolutely. The thing is, we also have numerous fears and insecurities and unquestioned beliefs associated with all of the above. For instance,

I ought to be more successful.
I want to be there in that future moment, not here in this moment.
I can’t be happy unless I know I’m tangibly progressing towards that better future.
What if I don’t make it?

So we desperately want to reach a supposed state of greater happiness and contentment. But this takes time. And in the meantime we’re afraid of failure, afraid that we might not be good enough, and feel frustrated when progress towards this future state is slow or non-existent. We set ourselves this mountain to climb and then complain that it’s not easy, sometimes even doubting our ability to climb it. Not to mention the assumptions underlying our beliefs. For example,

“I need to get/achieve X to be happy” – this implies that you fear the state of not having achieved X. There are two assumptions here – one that not having achieved X is an undesirable, bad state and the other is that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself in that state. Another one:

“If I don’t get to Y I won’t have lived to my full potential” – how do you know what your full potential is? Can you ever truly answer this question? And how can you be so sure that you’re meant to reach Y?

When you take stock of your desires and fears you realize that the greatest factor keeping you from happiness and contentment right now are your thoughts about the present moment. Your thoughts about yourself and the world you’re in. When our minds accept the present moment for what it is we always find that there is no real problem with who we are or where we are right now – at least no problem in the sense that we’re not fulfilling our potential. This is partly why alcohol is so popular when it comes to enjoying oneself – you drink, forget your problems, loosen up and remain very much in the moment, taking things one at a time as they come. Of course, we can’t live our daily lives under the influence; people who try generally tend to lose the plot in other aspects of their lives as a result.

But there’s still a lesson to be learnt here. In certain moments, whether by chance, luck or conscious effort, we are happy and content because we’re able to accept that moment for what it is and we’re able to accept our lives for what they are. No worry or fear about the future or pressing need to achieve and “make it”. But such moments never last. They come and go. So what to do?

I’d argue that there’s no way life can ever run perfectly. There are too many factors we don’t control – other people for starters. We don’t control what happens to us but we do control how we react to what happens to us. And here-in lies the solution to every problem you’re facing right now in your life. Yes, you’ve got goals driven by your desires and fears and what-not. Yes, life is a tumultuous ocean ride for everyone with its continuous ups and downs. Being able to accept this and work with it by adjusting your perspective will enable you to ride the waves more smoothly. Equanimity is key. This is to accept your daily ups and downs – i.e. successes and failures – as simply part and parcel of life and nothing to get too attached to. As Thich Nhat Hanh says in The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching:

“You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other.”

You know what I want? To wake up every morning feeling inspired and to feel content with my life and the world around me. And everything I’ve experienced so far in my life has taught me that it’s not about what happens to you but what you choose to do about it. It’s about who you choose to be, and where you choose to focus your attention in this moment. Can you chase your crazy goals and at the same time accept what is and find contentment where you are right now? Can you?

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The world is always changing and evolving

by Ram Posted on February 19, 2012

Alan Watts once made the observation that the same way that apples grow out of apple trees, we humans seem to grow out of planet Earth. If you were able to look at the Earth as a whole whilst still being able to see what’s happening this is what you would see – people are born, they grow old, they die. Over and over again all over the place. And if you were to video this and speed it up it would look like many millions of little dots expanding and then shrinking whilst also moving around really fast. Over an even longer timespan you’d see the rise and fall of buildings, towns, cities, and even empires. There would be a rhythm to this play, just as there is a rhythm to how apples keep growing out of apple trees.

This pattern – of things growing out of other things – is one we see repeated in nature and throughout the universe, and is quite fundamental to … how things work. And the idea of evolution seems like a sensible idea; partly since it’s simply a derivation of this growth pattern. We evolved out of lesser developed animals who in turn evolved out of lesser evolved animals and so on all the way back to the first sign of life on this planet. Exactly how the first sign of life began may not be verifiable at this point in time but what came afterwards is most likely to have been evolution and the evidence for this only gets better and better as we dig deeper into the past.

We can see this pattern of growth and evolution with ideas too. And especially so with ideas which attempt to explain how the world works and why it works the way it does. I’m talking now about science, and cultural and religious beliefs about the world. In the initial stages of humanity people couldn’t scientifically explain why the sun was there, why it rained, why volcanoes existed, or why they erupted, amongst other things. So they attributed such events and and anomalies to have been brought about by one or more beings more powerful than them. It’s human nature to want to fully understand and comprehend the environment in which one lives and this desire still drives our thirst for knowledge today. And since scientific inquiry hadn’t yet developed as a method or thinking process by which such things could be reasoned about the most logical explanation to be had was one involving deities who were in charge of things. History is littered with numerous Gods now no longer worshipped – Zeus, Apollo and Odin to name but a few. The deities we see being worshipped today are just the latest iterations in this quest to explain things which we haven’t yet understood scientifically.

A small but important point here – science has helped “peel away” many layers of ignorance already - for instance, the weather - and thus, nowadays modern religions tend to stay away from explaining those items.

If we consider history as a whole there have probably been as many religions as there have been languages, if not more. But what’s interesting about all deity-based religions is their claim to having divinely ordained truth which is eternal, i.e. ideas which are meant to work for all people forever and never need to be changed. Yet as societies evolve and social norms change and religions spread from one region to another they necessarily mutate in order to survive and flourish. For examples of this one has simply to consider the numerous denominations of Christianity and Islam. This is really quite natural. We cannot expect any idea to remain static and unchanged across all human beings as we don’t all hold the same perspective on things. And we cannot expect any idea to remain unchanged over time as it’s impossible to predict what the future will bring. Therefore it is highly unlikely, in my opinion, that human beings will ever adopt a single, unifying perspective on anything unless it is a truth which can be individually verified in an objective fashion. In other words, we can all only have the same perspective on something or believe in the same thing if each and every one of us can verify the truth of the matter for ourselves.

So it’s natural for us to have differing opinions on metaphysical aspects of life. And our views will change over time, as do our views on everything else in life. As a result of inter-cultural exchange and progress made in science and technology our ideas are constantly being re-shaped, almost on a daily basis now. This, in a way, is how we are evolving as a species. An evolution more in knowledge and understanding than in physical characteristics. Over the course of human history societies have thus evolved in terms of their collectively held values and ideas. What was considered unthinkable centuries ago is much more common place today – e.g. divorce and homosexuality.

If we were to visit an alien planet which harboured intelligent life such as ours would we see a similar evolution of religions, science and technology occurring over there? Sometimes it’s easy to for us to look at the state the world is in right now and get frustrated about the many bad things that are happening. War, famine, poverty, hatred, to name but a few. Yet is it possible that intelligent species across the universe go through this too, i.e. is everything we are going through just part-and-parcel of the evolution of society? From a state where life is defined by the struggle to survive towards one where life is defined by self-sufficiency and creativity? It’s worth considering Kropotkin’s anarchism here (as described by Alan Watts in Tao: the Watercourse Way):

If people are left alone to do as they please, to follow their nature and discover what truly pleases them, a social order will emerge of itself. Individuality is inseparable from community.

If the above is true then the world is currently in the most stable state possible given all the factors involved. So there is never any need to lament it. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t act to change it. Just that the way it is now is the only way it could have possibly turned out.

If there is one thing that is constant in life it is change. Everything in the universe is changing, even other people. If we can recognize the truth of this then it becomes obvious that even our ideas about how to live life must also be willing to change. At the collective level of society they do change, whether we want them to or not at our own personal level. Things may not always change for better in the near-term but I think that over the long-term the cumulative changes in society do result in a better outcome. Otherwise a society wouldn’t survive for very long. The positive changes which occur in a society may even be down to small groups of people who, through their courage and conviction, help drive these changes (women’s voting rights comes to mind). But to drive through positive change in society one has to be open-minded and willing to adapt to the “prevailing currents”. This is as true of business as it is of religion and philosophy. We cannot control the world, but if we’re thoughtful enough and lucky enough we can nudge it ever so gently.

 

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Who am I? Am I the thoughts inside my head?

by Ram Posted on February 9, 2012

Who am I? Am I really just the thoughts inside my head or am I really something else?

A fundamental idea in many Eastern spiritual traditions – specifically Hinduism, Buddhism and similar philosophical systems – is that you aren’t simply the thoughts inside your head. Instead, underlying your mental clamour is consciousness and this, rather than your thoughts, is closer to who you truly are.

But what is meant by this consciousness? the simplest meaning I can think of is the sense of being alive. Are you alive right now? well of course you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be aware of this question in the first place. But what makes you so sure that you’re alive? It can be hard to put this perception of aliveness into words since knowing that one is alive is such an obvious thing. When you ask yourself “Am I alive?” you could work out the answer by checking whether you’re breathing, whether you can feel the air on your skin, whether you can feel the object on which you’re stood or sat, etc. But more likely than not – and this is at least true for me – you answer this question by simply being aware of your aliveness in this moment. What’s interesting is that this sense of aliveness that you have never really changes. Even when you’re sleeping (and therefore unconscious) you sometimes become aware of your aliveness – if you’ve ever become aware of the fact that you’re dreaming whilst still in your dream you know what I mean. In fact, when we do “wake up” within our dream we are suddenly aware that the thoughts, feelings and perceptions we’re experiencing at that moment within the dream aren’t real. Similarly, when we are fully conscious and awake our sense of aliveness is separate to the thoughts, feelings and perceptions going on inside our heads at any moment in time.

If you ever take a moment to become physically still and simply become aware of yourself thinking or feeling you’ll notice that your thoughts and emotions never stay still. They’re constantly changing. We notice this readily when we get upset or angry about something. For a while our thoughts and emotions revolve around the issue that’s causing said upset but eventually we calm down, get over it and move on. Yet, throughout such periods of upset and in our daily lives which contain numerous ups and downs our sense of aliveness never really changes. This is, one could argue, the part of us which is constant throughout our entire lives from birth to death, as opposed to our personality which is simply an amalgamation of our beliefs, desires, fears and emotions – all things which change over time.

So why does this matter? Eastern philosophers argue that this sense of aliveness is closer than anything else to what they call your “true nature”. By your true nature it is usually meant the universal consciousness or supreme spirit which gives rise to the universe and everything in it – the Tao in Taoism, Brahman in Hinduism, or the emptiness in Buddhism. Indeed, reaching this state of nirvana is indeed the primary goal in many such philosophical systems (though less in Taoism). The student of such systems is encouraged to question the nature of their sense of aliveness and to find its origin. What exactly is it? Is there anything behind it, i.e. what about the awareness that is aware of this sense of aliveness? Is that the real me?

The prevailing idea is that this singular, universal consciousness is the eternal, ever-present pure bliss which is hidden behind the various “layers” above it – the sense of aliveness, thoughts, emotions and finally perceptions of the physical world. These layers are what define our individual personalities and it is our total mental identification with these layers (particularly thoughts and emotions) which makes us fail to realize our true nature. We identify so strongly with our inner labels for things – e.g. I am so-and-so from so-and-so ethnic group, living in so-and-so place, etc. – that it’s difficult to see ourselves as anything but them.

Logically it makes sense to say that we are more than just our collection of mental labels. When you’re born you have neither a name, race, age, religion or place of birth. Not even a gender – you may physically appear as a male or female but you haven’t yet been labelled as “male” or “female”. All of these labels are given to you by your family and society. From then onwards you grow up getting used to these labels and eventually get attached to them. Along the way you drop some labels and pick up some new ones. For instance, you go from being a kid to a teenager to an adult. Or you switch religions. Or you go from being a student to an employee to an employer to a CEO. Although we’re all aware of how arbitrary these labels are we still cling to them. And there are some which aren’t likely to change at all, e.g. your gender, your name, your ethnic group. These labels which rarely change contribute very deeply to our identities (our own idea of who we think we are). And yet, even some of these can change. You can change your name through legal means and change you gender through surgery, and so on. All labels which we apply to ourselves are just that – labels. They’re useful for practical purposes but don’t necessarily need to remain constant.

And we can’t talk about mental labels without also talking about the ideas we associate around those labels. A while ago I was walking down the street when I saw a young lad walking in my direction on the opposite side of the road. He had a hoodie on and my immediate reaction to seeing this was a feeling of suspicion. This fella had to be dodgy since I felt that most people who wear hoodies like that are. I suddenly became aware of how automatically this conclusion had entered my mind and began to question it. I hadn’t even met this person and yet I had already made up my mind about them. Why so? because my thoughts had been influenced enough by the negative stories I’d read about hooded youngsters in the news that my mind now associated negative connotations with hoodie-wearers. They didn’t stand a chance against my prejudice. And then it dawned on me that just about all of my ideas regarding other people had been built up over time based on personal experience, hear-say and news. And I realized that this must be true for everyone else too – we all end up associating certain thoughts and feelings with certain labels in our minds and these in turn influences how we behave with others.

So what the concept of a true nature is getting at is that you are more than just these mental labels and their associated ideas. Without our true nature or this eternal consciousness underlying it all, none of these things would even exist. And if this is indeed true then it becomes apparent that the concept of I or me doesn’t really make sense when it comes to your true nature since these concepts always refer to your mental identity of who you think you are. The true nature is not unique or specific to each person must therefore be the same for everyone. And this is what is meant when it is said that your true nature is universal.

Personally, at least as far as I’m aware, as I haven’t yet experienced my true nature, if such a thing really exists. But putting this aside, the sense of aliveness which we can all feel is something I have experienced and can do so in any moment, just like you. This is the simplest way in which you can perceive yourself, beyond any other thoughts, emotions or physical perceptions. One could say the purpose of meditation is to become aware of this sense of aliveness and then reside in this state of awareness for as long as possible in order to calm and quieten the mind. Meditation, or simply speaking, deliberately becoming aware of your sense of aliveness, is a great way to momentarily go beyond your mental labels and associations. And it is in doing this on a regular basis that we develop a calmer mind and learn to question our thoughts and beliefs. This in turn enables us to realise a deeper sense of who we are in relation to the world. It helps us be more accepting of the world as it is with less judgement. The end result? more happiness.

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The Tao is beyond God

by Ram Posted on January 29, 2012

“The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao” – Tao Te Ching

This is a translation of the first line of the Tao Te Ching, a philosophical pamphlet written many centuries ago in China by a man named Laozi (老子, pronounced “lao tzu”). What is Laozi talking about here? I guess you could think of the Tao as the thing that is the ultimate cause of everything in the universe, the ultimate eternal reality, or the eternal consciousness in which the universe happens.

Laozi is trying his best to describe what the nature of this ultimate truth is. The point he makes is that it’s not something you can describe with words. Why is this important? Well, if you want to think of something in a meaningful way you need a way of representing it in your mind, which means it must have either a name or a shape. Laozi is saying that because the Tao is beyond the universe – and therefore beyond space, time and cause-and-effect – it is impossible to conceptualize it as a mere thought. But wait, doesn’t this mean that even calling it “Tao” is meaningless? yes. Yet we need some way of understanding what Laozi is saying and so he gives it this label – Tao. But then he immediately warns us against placing too much emphasis on the label. It is merely a pointer to the truth, not the truth itself.

So is Tao the same thing as God? Laozi would also like us to consider the Tao as being beyond God. Whenever we mention the word God it means something different to different people. Anyone who has had any sort of association or interaction with this word (either through religion or an equivalent belief system) will already have some idea in their mind of what God is or isn’t. God is whatever you believe or think God to be, i.e. it’s a concept in your mind. But as Laozi says, the Tao is beyond mental concepts and so it must also be beyond this concept of God you have in your mind.

It soon becomes pretty clear that the Tao isn’t something you believe in. It simply is. Because it cannot be conceptualized, it cannot be analysed or disected, and it is not necessary to believe in it or even be aware of it. According to Laozi, everything and nothing is in the Tao and of the Tao by default. But if this is the case then what is the point of it being mentioned in the Tao Te Ching in the first place? I think Laozi is gently reminding us that the spontaneity and unpredictability of existence which we call life is all part and parcel of the Tao. Right from the tumultuous astronomical events such as the big bang all the way down to the subtle patterns we see in water as it flows. Even the chaotic happenings within human civilization which we attribute to collective free will are all part of the Tao. At the very fundamental level, the world does not need to be judged or analysed. It simply is, and we can learn to enjoy it.

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